La Bramasole

Human Interaction Specialty

Soft and Sweet Winter Look

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I wanted to share a look that I have been wearing for the last week. It photographs beautifully. It seems to be going very well at both work and then transitions quickly to casual evening (or with a different lipstick/gloss it worked for a more elegant evening on Valentines Day!). This was my every day look, my boardroom look this week, my “special day look” and is my current favorite. Enjoy!

 

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Have you joined the spReAd the love children’s book challenge yet?

Erina Hammer:

This is a very worthy cause; happy to reblog. Spread the love with children’s books today. xoxo

Originally posted on Me + Richard Armitage:

I’ve got takers for posts on my blog (will be in touch with you ladies shortly), but there’s still room for more!

Challenge is to find a children’s book that you loved or that changed your life and blog about it after giving a copy of it to a child you know or to a library, school, children’s hospital, etc. This is timed to coincide with the anniversary of Dr. Seuss’s birthday.

Every post yields (obvs) a donation of a book by you, and a point in the spReAd the love kindness campaign, as well as a matching $1 donation from an anonymous donor. Plus it gives us all a good feeling! More details here. Please be in touch if you’re interested.

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Something Old; Something New…..

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On Twitter today, a very wise man posted the following quote:

“One of the most striking things about the Wright brothers’ story is how many haters they had. Apparently they come with anything new” (Paul Graham via @paulg).

What a deep statement to make. As an example,  check out at all the new sports they have in the Olympics this year; do you wonder how much derision the athletes had to deal with when they first approached the Olympic Committee when they wanted to have, say, Snowboarding Cross included in 2006? Think of the first time snowboarders wanted to be included in the Olympic Games to begin with at all; I wonder how hard a time the die-hard skiiers gave the boarders until finally the Boarders were able to participate…and perhaps the Boarders got a hard time after that. Change is hard for everyone, especially when time-honored traditions are involved.

Yet the athletes persisted, and Snowboarding remains one of the most popular events in the Olympics. Hard core determination, dare we say stubbornness, was necessary to truly get some recognition for the “new thing” to be a recognized and accepted sport.  These words are important when we think about changing something that is rigidly held in tradition and difficult to change: persistence, determination, identification of a specific goal, recognition of that goal and eventual acceptance. This is the pattern necessary for that kind of change.

 How about you? Do you have personal goals which are troubling you or you are doing well at achieving? Sound off and let us know!

Very best to you and your Goals.

Photo credit: Roup14 (Deviant Art)

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Lisa Eldridge: Professional Makeup Artist Fresh Faced Look

I simply adore this amazing, witty, warm and beautiful makeup artist from Great Britain. If you have any love for makeup at all, you really need to check this woman out.

Her description is: “A quick and easy to achieve, fresh faced makeup look. Great for this time of year particularly good if you’re looking and feeling tired. Full of tips and tricks for giving your face that wide awake glow!

I really hope you try this out. I have been doing this look every day this week. It takes me about 15 minutes start to finish after I put my hair in curlers. Easy and love it. Good for work, videos, photography-family, travel friendly, you name it.

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Emotional Vampire Slayer Strategies: Part 1 The Vampire Bully

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Emotional Vampire Slayer Strategies: Part 1           The Vampire Bully

Well as promised, here are some coping strategies to deal with those people who drain us dry. I would recommend that you might have a particular person in mind…..then see which of these strategies would work for you!

This checklist is for dealing with an Emotional Vampire who is also a Bully

Strategy #1: Know the Person, Know their History, Know their Goal. Get outside verification.

Any time you are in a position of being bullied, one of the best things you can do is to KNOW YOURSELF!

The second best thing you can do is to KNOW YOUR BULLY.

Check their Facebook page/Instagram/Snapchat/TwitterVine and then understand how they interact with others: Are they sarcastic, are they kind, but with an edge, are they conditionally compassionate, are they truly nice but only until they get something they want? Chances are you will also be on the receiving end of this treatment when you are no longer in favor with this Vampire Bully.

How do they behave with other people around whom they feel that have a superiority complex? For example, how do they treat the barrista, the waitress or waiter, the gas attendant, the cashier? Are they kind or do they treat these people badly? You might be treated the same way when the Vampire Bully starts to feel that he/she thinks they are superior to you.

How does the Vampire Bully behave around people whom they perceive to have power over them? Do they submit to that person face to face, then try to stab them in the back the minute they think they can get away with it? If you are in authority to this person, be aware they will likely behave in the same way to you.

Know the person. Know their behavior patterns. Know their goal (getting their needs met instantly even at the expense of others and without regards to the rules; to not be held accountable to the rules when they are broken).

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2. Strategy #2. Do what they do not.

Be straightforward when dealing with this Vampire Bully. Do not hide your reservations or concerns out of politeness or fear; be truthful, be fair, back up your position with facts. Record your conversation or have witnesses when confronting the vampire. Remember: Vampires look for loopholes to get around the rules ALL the time and without exception, but most especially when they feel cornered or insulted. If the issue is important to you, stick to your guns, stick to the truth and the facts, stay safe, and make good boundaries.

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Strategy #3: Pay attention to the actions not to the words
Sometimes a Vampire Bully is very difficult to distinguish from their words; he or she is very charming, easy to like, but after being around them, you feel absolutely drained and beaten (Watch “August-Osage County” for an idea). Perhaps it could be helpful to write down the behavior pattern:

Vampire did x-> caused this reaction-> Vampire did Y -> caused this reaction

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Strategy #4: Look for the “Wicked Spell Phrases”

Do it because you like me” …you have free will. You can like whom you want, and you can do what you want regardless.

Do it because I did something for you“…be in debt to no one who holds an ax over your head in such a way. Run away from them.

Everyone else is…” If that is the reason the Vampire is trying to force you to do something you don’t want to….get the heck out of there. Real friends don’t force friends to do things they don’t want to.

Conditional offers…Offers which have a “hook” to them are not open friendly offers at all. Be very wary.

But you always do…” So what. A person has the right to change their past. You have a right to change your own behaviors for the better. The Vampire shouldn’t keep you mired in the past.

I’m the authority; therefore believe me. I know what is best” ….Really? Trust your own instincts. If in doubt, Google.

Do it or else…“If you have anyone, ANYONE, who threatens you into doing something you don’t want to do, get out of that situation as far and as fast as you can. Reach out for help. Call 911. Call a friend. Latch onto a complete stranger and don’t let go. You are in deep ca-ca.

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Closing words:

If you are unsure where to start, begin here:

Family first: Figure out what is the most important to you and hold on tightly. No one should drain other people dry, not even family members.

Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Ever.

Pick your words as carefully as you would pick your battles with an adolescent.

Never say yes to be nice; don’t waste your breath trying to get a Vampire Bully to admit they are a liar or a cheat. Just leave.

Write down an honest and objective behavior pattern. Hold the Vampire Bully accountable for the BEHAVIOR not their words. If they throw a tantrum of any kind, that is your cue to leave the vicinity.

Photo credits: Tania_Vampire (deviant art); Roltirirang (deviant art); Aria Snow (deviant art); Retsamys (deviant art); under CC licence 3.0

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